This is what happens when you try to catch a beam on your nose - actually, between you and me this is really the result of a slight disagreement with the builder. Total overreaction in my view - I merely said "I've seen one legged snails work faster than you" and "It's not just TV that adds a couple of stone to your backside." Oh and I might have commented on his uncanny likeness to Barbara Windsor (he's only 4ft 3) - and the fact that when he sings even the sheep put their feet in their ears - apart from that I didn't say a word!